Lessons of a supervisor

Failure. It continues to be my most humbling mentor.
I know this isn’t exactly the response you might be looking for. InterVarsity does provide me with wonderful mentorship and community (who’ve helped me process through what you’re about to read) – but failure has indeed been the primarily catalyst for growth this year.

In my new role, much of my spiritual development has come as I’ve been challenged in how to love and support other staff. What keeps a missionary going? How do you help them walk through their own areas of weakness? When do you call out their mistakes and praise their faithfulness? This is a ministry on a whole new and more difficult level. And what I’m discovering is that I don’t naturally want to engage difficult conversations. I don’t want to call out things that are uncomfortable. And when I decline these opportunities, I fail as a supervisor and I fail the mission.
But as I’ve failed in this area, I’ve been reminded that declaring God’s kingdom on campus requires that we live the kingdom. And this includes asking our staff to be held accountable. So I am being challenged to be a better staff worker by holding our people to a higher standard -- to the standard of a King. I am being challenged to act instead of letting things go.
And thankfully, we have a King that wants to help us conquer our weaknesses. But we all must first admit that we need His help. Failure has helped me to admit it.

Rewards and...

Every season has been different. Watching people turn around, and choose to live a life of faith is always wonderful to see. For example, one of my older students, Alex, met Jesus on the brink of suicide three years ago. Not only did he turn around, but this year he’s ACF’s go-to guy. Alex is making Jesus more real for them and has inspired several people to come to faith. These are rewarding things that I get to see.

But this season it’s been you, the donors, that have been an incredible encouragement.

You are truly generous and incredibly faithful people. And it’s been made particularly evident in this horrible economy. Here are some examples:

Jin - lost her job for a while but kept on giving! And when God provided her with another job, she doubled her giving. All without my needing to ask. AMAZING!

James - felt God telling him to share his blessing. And upon received my last prayer letter, he decided that he should also give to Morgan (the supervisee that I highlighted last month) as well.
I continue to be amazed at the generosity in our midst. God is a real and powerful God.

How do you steward your money?

I’ve begun to see that this question is quite a sensitive one in light of the ailing economy. (My funding has dropped as a result and I’ve had to take a $3,600 pay decrease.) Both in my support networks and in my support networks and in myself, I’ve seen our fists close tighter on the little we have while anxiety and doubt eat away at our faith in God.

As a missionary who’s income is completely dependant on those who contribute to the ministry, I think this is a completely valid question for my supporters to ask. And I am very glad for the accountability that Michelle has called me to.

Here’s the breakdown in more detail. Giving includes our giving to missionaries as well as our local church. Debt is self-explanatory. Rent is now a mortgage payment. Monthly expenses are things like groceries, gasoline, utilities, medical bills etc.. and annual expenses are things like travel to visit our families and car insurance. Please feel free to call us into more in depth accounting!

What are you hearing in your devotions?

This season I’ve been spending time in Luke. I feel with so much transition happening in my life, it is necessary for me to return to “center,” to who Jesus is. Luke not only does this but is very artful in framing Jesus with supporting characters. that I find immensely interesting, especially the spectrum of their responses. Jesus incites deep anger, overwhelming gratitude, arrogance, humility, fear, and hope. I guess the major question is why? Why would any one person elicit such a gambit of responses? What does he draw out in people that make them react that way? As for me, I find myself relating to the murderers and the accusers of Christ.

“One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong. “Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Luke 23: 39-41)

My approach toward Christ has been to continually test him, much like the thief who accuses him even in Christ’s last hour. But I think there is a difference between genuine seeking and skeptical testing. Testing incorrectly puts me in a higher position. The one on trial must prove himself to me. Seeking connotes a lower position. The one before me may have something to teach me. Luke challenges me in my approach to faith. How often do I need God to prove himself to me versus how often am I looking to be taught by Him?

There’s something mysterious about the humility of the second thief. He’s greatly self-aware. He knows that he deserves his doom. How many of us know that? I know that generally, I am completely out of touch with the path of destruction my selfishness has me on. And at the same time, he knows that Jesus is innocent and in His innocence deserves to enter the Kingdom. How does the thief understand that? And what does he mean by asking Jesus to remember him? I think reality is that when we’re trying to make Christ prove Himself to us, we are nowhere close to self-awareness. We lack the capability to see Jesus and His ability to help us, to remember us. My prayer continues to be: Let me be not so proud, Lord, as to forbid you from coming close and helping me know hope, joy, and gratitude.

What is a day in the life of Jean Morales?

A LOT OF DRIVING. With our region expanding to reach more campuses it has become necessary to create multiple support systems for our staff (many of whom are not staffing their alma mater) I am mentoring 5 new staff in our region which spans Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, and Missouri.

What does my job looks like in this new role? Let me take you through my visit with Morgan at Kansas University.

Morgan, a first-year staff worker primarily working with International Students, spent the past few months connecting with new students from all around the world. This year they threw a housewarming party that included a furniture raffle. 150 students came and many have continued relationship with Morgan and InterVarsity.

So at my visit with Morgan, she took me around to see the beautiful campus at Kansas University. Having barely taken two steps on campus we encounter several Chinese students who Morgan knows by name. Several steps later another Chinese student hails Morgan giving her a tremendous hug and pledges to see her at the next gathering. Morgan has an extreme talent both crossing cultures and loving people. I could see in her students’ eyes that they felt both loved and cared for. And in the Midwest, this is a rare thing for those who are not acclimated to our culture.

We then spent the next four hours walking through her challenges and trials. “Jean, I’m not sure if I can continue doing this” confides, in contradiction to what took place an hour before. The reason? Not because she doesn't feel called to these students or because she doesn’t believe faith is relevant in their lives. And not because the students don’t want her in their lives.

The reason? She can’t afford to pay her rent. Through Morgan, students are seeing the transformative power of faith. Several of them are discovering ways to resolve conflict, to learn servant leadership, to choose peace over anxiety. And many of them will be world leaders. (in 2007 ~88% of the ~2,500 high ranking officials around the world were educated in Western Universities and the number of internationals studying in the US has gone up in the past three). This window of influence is too great for us to pass up.

One of my major goals this year is to get people like Morgan equipped for the field (and that means not having to worry about whether or not they can afford groceries). I spent the remainder of the day mentoring Morgan on how to be rooted in the vision of her work, God’s movement in the students, and God’s desire for His greater church to be a part of that mission. Please join me in prayer that Morgan would connect with more support networks that want to be a part of students’ lives transformed at KU.

Hope Survey

What is hope?

A flash of silver on the roadside.

A plane ticket to Australia, England, the United States.

A dream that smiles at you but holds another woman's hand

A yellowed photo of a dog and his boy.

A life outside of a cube, feet in sand, watching a golden orb dissolve into dark blue depths.

What does hope wear?

a freshly pressed suit

a soldier's uniform

red pumps

a cape and tights

a cross

How's your relationship with hope?

She's been taking me 'round the bend. Last week she promised me a paycheck, this week it's a sandwich, next week it'll be a safe place to lay down.

She's the reason I do this stupid job. My kids need to go to college. She'll be with them, she's gotta be.

She messes people up. Makes people bitter, you know? Like my wife. I had no idea that Hope was setting a bar so high that I could do nothing but be disappointing. Yah, I recommending exterminating Hope before she exterminates you.

Elusive. She's sorta in my life, but I get her mixed up with my own dreams. And well, dreams are fantasies. Hope, I think, is real. Or at least, people act like she's real.

She's the alternative. She's the choice that we don't often see. She's a whole new dimension. She's inviting me to live... I mean really live.