Saying goodbye to class of 2010

I'm sitting here in my now empty living room trying to put together my feelings. I just had 15 of the graduating class over to my house. I've had friends/donors helping me give "advice" to this class to prepare them for college.

In their normal collegey way, they whispered, gawked, and fell asleep as my dear friends tried to help them with their transition. It reminded me of the days I sat in the back of Simon 120 passing notes to May in Finance class thinking that my prof wouldn't see us being blatantly rude. Going to WashU doesn't automatically indicate that you're intelligent nor socially apt.

But as I bid these Seniors farewell, with good food in their stomachs and hopefully scripture in their heart I felt a twinge of something that I still can't figure out. Jesus taught on Spiritual Blindness, challenging the overly religious to wake up and see the heart behind the ritual and at the same time challenging the tired weary and bitter people caught in self-destructive patterns to see hope. This class and every class before and every class after represents these two populations. And I wonder, as I sit studying with them, which population I belong in. I suspect I swing both ways. That sweet spot in between where we just trust in our Good Shepherd, loving people and receiving His love is so elusive sometimes.

But I can only pray that they'll experience that sweet spot sometime in their lives beyond their undergraduate years. And such an amazing feeling that will be.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10b)

Cris' Corner on Jean's Blog

Sometimes, folks want to get Cris' perspective on things. I thought it'd be fun to have Cris answer some questions from my donors & friends.

Eileen: How is God challenging you personally through your marriage?

Cris: It’s fun to be able to help answer a question here and there. :) Jean and I have been married for over a year now (time flies by so quickly!) and if you asked me on any given day how our marriage was going, I'd respond with two thumbs up and positive comments. But this doesn't mean there isn't room for growth in how we love each other.

Over the past 5 weeks we've been taking part in a training course on communication within marriage. (The goal is to be trained in how to guide other couples in the techniques provided by the course and to foster improved communication.)

What I was surprised by was an exercise where we wrote down the behaviors that our spouse does / once did that made us feel loved. When I saw Jean's list, I found that most of the things on her list were things I was doing presently. However, two items (planning special dates and giving thoughtful gifts) were in the "once did" column.

After some reflection and prayer, I came to the understanding that those were the two behaviors that required the most time and personal effort to do - all the other items came more naturally. So I feel God asking me, "Why do you no longer do those things? Are you willing to love just a bit more self-sacrificially? Are you willing to love a little bit more like the way I love you?" It's hard to say no when He puts it that way. :)

Simply put, God is challenging us to continue growing in our capacity to love each other selflessly.

God's Harmonious Changes?

Eileen: How do you mesh church life / ministry and your staff ministry, and in what ways do you see God working harmoniously between the two?

Jean: You assume that God is working harmoniously. :-) I suppose that the overarching melody that God is weaving throughout my church life/ministry life… my life in general is the melody of CHANGE. And though it is the same theme, it hasn’t been smooth sailing.

I’ll be honest, this year has been a hard year internally for me.

Externally, things are going well. Cris and I have a nice new home, we’ve found a church that we feel excited about, and I’ve enabled 3 new staff to be on 3 different campuses. But taking on this many transitions in one year has been difficult. First marriage, then a job change, then a church change, then a new neighborhood.

All of these things have been supreme blessings and yet at the same time, there are these piercing moments of nostalgia. My leaving the ministry at WashU ACF to help our Region increase its capacity has been a primary source of those feelings. I can’t help but wonder if I left too soon or if they still need me, despite my head knowledge that God takes care of things. Most of my year has been ridden with guilt as I watch the chapter try to move forward with young leaders and no solid vision. And I think about Jesus leaving the throngs of people seeking to be healed at the end of Luke 4. “Why didn’t you just snap your fingers and heal them before heading out?” is my question. “How did you not feel guilty, Jesus?” is my second question, especially knowing that He was capable of doing it.

And He answers, “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.” My supervisor Tom says that there’s never a good time to leave, there’s simply God calling us elsewhere. This is something that I’m still working out in my mind. With Nebraska that was just replanted last year (no work since the early 90’s) and with staff starting ministries at schools with NO HISTORY of Christian Ministry it’s no doubt in my mind that we need to increase our capacity here in the Midwest. And the need is in support networks for our staff. We need funding, we need supervisors, and we need people to leave their 1 post to enable 3-6 more posts to be active.

On the personal front, the transition continues. Cris and I have moved churches and neighborhoods to see how we can be more available to God. Our neighborhood is stretching us beyond belief as we’re learning how a Chinese and Cuban American can learn to connect to a mostly African American community. Additionally, our church has grown from a 12 person small group to near 40 people, all yearning to know God and see Him move.

Can I mimic Christ when people ask me why I must leave? Can I say too that I’m leaving because “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to other towns also…”? I’m not sure, but my heart hopes so. In the meantime, I’m still trying to make sense of these changes and God’s working in them all. Can I say definitively what He’s doing through all of it? No. Can I say that He’s working on me and stretching me? Yes. Can I say that He’s present and with me in all these changes? Yes. And sadly I know no more than that. :-)

Hosea at the Union

Written by staff from the University of Missouri-St. Louis (a chapter barely a year old)
E was fascinated by how committed our group was to God and to each other. As we continued to broach the subject of spirituality, my core students were listening and participating until they had to leave for class.

The lunch hour passed and it was just me, Hannah (one of the student leaders) and E. I asked her if Jesus was sitting right here with us and you could ask Him one question, what would it be? She said “Would I go to heaven?” Wow.

Now that a couple of hours passed she felt comfortable sharing with us. She said since she’d come to college, she hadn’t been herself. She started sleeping around when she got to UMSL, and the crowd she rolls with treats her like garbage. She started crying and I started sharing some truth to her about her value in God’s eyes. Hannah caught onto what was happening and started sharing scripture and truth as well.

The funny thing was I had asked E earlier in the day if she wanted to follow Jesus again, and she said no, she wasn’t ready. But by the end of the day, God had really broken her down to see her need. As she was crying, I told her about God waiting for her to come back to Him without shaming or condemning her - that he wanted to love, protect and forgive her of her sins. Hannah is one of my core. She’s a gifted evangelist and she shared the beautiful story of Hosea. After lots of truth speaking, I finally asked her again if she wanted to commit her life to following Jesus again and making Him the Lord of her life and heart and she said yes. We prayed with her, and she prayed out loud with her head down, lots of tears and shaking as we held her on both sides agreeing with her prayer.

After that, lots of people came up and asked what was up and we had E tell them what had happened. “I just committed my life back to following Christ.”