God's Harmonious Changes?

Eileen: How do you mesh church life / ministry and your staff ministry, and in what ways do you see God working harmoniously between the two?

Jean: You assume that God is working harmoniously. :-) I suppose that the overarching melody that God is weaving throughout my church life/ministry life… my life in general is the melody of CHANGE. And though it is the same theme, it hasn’t been smooth sailing.

I’ll be honest, this year has been a hard year internally for me.

Externally, things are going well. Cris and I have a nice new home, we’ve found a church that we feel excited about, and I’ve enabled 3 new staff to be on 3 different campuses. But taking on this many transitions in one year has been difficult. First marriage, then a job change, then a church change, then a new neighborhood.

All of these things have been supreme blessings and yet at the same time, there are these piercing moments of nostalgia. My leaving the ministry at WashU ACF to help our Region increase its capacity has been a primary source of those feelings. I can’t help but wonder if I left too soon or if they still need me, despite my head knowledge that God takes care of things. Most of my year has been ridden with guilt as I watch the chapter try to move forward with young leaders and no solid vision. And I think about Jesus leaving the throngs of people seeking to be healed at the end of Luke 4. “Why didn’t you just snap your fingers and heal them before heading out?” is my question. “How did you not feel guilty, Jesus?” is my second question, especially knowing that He was capable of doing it.

And He answers, “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.” My supervisor Tom says that there’s never a good time to leave, there’s simply God calling us elsewhere. This is something that I’m still working out in my mind. With Nebraska that was just replanted last year (no work since the early 90’s) and with staff starting ministries at schools with NO HISTORY of Christian Ministry it’s no doubt in my mind that we need to increase our capacity here in the Midwest. And the need is in support networks for our staff. We need funding, we need supervisors, and we need people to leave their 1 post to enable 3-6 more posts to be active.

On the personal front, the transition continues. Cris and I have moved churches and neighborhoods to see how we can be more available to God. Our neighborhood is stretching us beyond belief as we’re learning how a Chinese and Cuban American can learn to connect to a mostly African American community. Additionally, our church has grown from a 12 person small group to near 40 people, all yearning to know God and see Him move.

Can I mimic Christ when people ask me why I must leave? Can I say too that I’m leaving because “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to other towns also…”? I’m not sure, but my heart hopes so. In the meantime, I’m still trying to make sense of these changes and God’s working in them all. Can I say definitively what He’s doing through all of it? No. Can I say that He’s working on me and stretching me? Yes. Can I say that He’s present and with me in all these changes? Yes. And sadly I know no more than that. :-)